Who do I look like?

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?” He says: “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says. “Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls. Wife says: “Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.” “Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband. “What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?”

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“Hey World, it’s B!”

They have become very popular words, known as being the first on new mom Beyonce Knowles’ account.

Over the past three years, Beyonce has gathered close to 3 millions followers without saying a hoot. When she finally broke her silence, the Twitter world went crazy and so did I. No doubt, everyone’s excited to hear what more she has to say after that first tweet, which went as follows:

“Hey World, It’s B! I’m so excited to invite you to my new http://beyonce.com – we’ve been working hard, and it’s finally ready for you XO”

It would seem like an uninteresting tweet solely backed my promoting her brand but the personal website actually proved to be the opposite. There’s actually an album in it which shows fascinating behind-the-scenes pictures from her life with Jay-Z. Who wouldn’t want to know what this power couple does in their spare time? So, check the site out and be as in awe as I was by just how humble (and beautiful) this lady is.

Drake feat. Lil Wayne – The Motto Lyrics

[Drake:]
I’m the fuckin man, you don’t get it do ya?
Type of money everybody acting like they knew ya
Go Uptown, New York City Biiitch
Some Spanish girls love me like I’m Aventura
Tell Uncle Luke I’m out in Miami too
Clubbing hard, Fuckin’ women ain’t much to do
Wrist blang, got a condo up in Biscayne
Still getting brain from a thang, ain’t shit changed
How you feel? how you feel? how you feel?
Twenty five sittin’ on 25 mil uhh
I’m in the building and I’m feeling myself
Rest in peace Mac Dre, I’mma do it for the Bay, okay
Getting paid well holla whenever that stop
My team good, we don’t really need a mascot
Tell Tune “light one, pass it like a relay”
YMCMB you niggas more YMCA
Me, Freddie, Marley Marl at the cribbo
Shout goes out to Niko, Jay and Chubbs, shout to Gibo
We got Santa Margarita by the liter
She know even if im fuckin with her, I don’t really need her
Aohhh, That’s how you feel man?
That’s really how you feel?
Cause the pimpin’ ice cold, all these bitches wanna chill
I mean maybe she won’t
Then again maybe she will
I can almost guarantee she know the deal,
Real nigga what’s up?

[Drake – Chorus:]
Now she want a photo
You already know though
You only live once: that’s the motto nigga YOLO
We bout it every day, every day, every day
Like we sittin’ on the bench, nigga we don’t really play
Every day, every day, fuck what anybody say
Can’t see ’em ’cause the money in the way
Real nigga what’s up?

[Lil Wayne:]
One, time fuck one time
I’m calling niggas out like the umpire
Seven, grams in the blunt
Almost drowned in her pussy so I swam to her butt
It’s Eastside, we in this bitch
Wish a nigga would like a tree in this bitch
And if a leaf fall put some weed in that bitch
That’s my MO add a B to that shit
I’m fucked up, torn down
I’m twisted: door knob
Talk stupid, off with your head!
Nigga money talks and Mr Ed!
I’m so Young Money got a drum on the gun
Energizer bunny
Funny how honey ain’t sweet like sugar
Ain’t shit sweet niggas on the street like hookers
I tongue kiss her other tongue
Skeet skeet skeet: water gun
Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt! Tunechi

[Drake – Chorus:]
Now she want a photo
You already know though
You only live once: that’s the motto nigga YOLO
We bout it every day, every day, every day
Like we sittin on the bench, nigga we don’t really play
Every day, every day, fuck what anybody say
Can’t see ’em ’cause the money in the way
Real nigga what’s up what’s up what’s up

Watch the music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D0V2VVEH6AX4

April Fool’s Day

April 1st marks April Fool’s Day and I’m a big fan of practical jokes. However, I’m not that good at coming up with them.

What better than to pull a classical prank (or something you came up with) on someone who won’t expect it at all. We all need a good laugh once in a while. So visit April Fool Zone for some cool ideas.